AKA Spending New Year’s with a Bunch of Buddhists

I was fortunate to greet 2023 while on a mindfulness meditation retreat at Deer Park Monastery in Southern California.  

Mindfulness? Great! Waking up at 5:15? Um…

Why the early mornings were worth it, and what to expect from a meditation retreat in the Plum Village tradition.

Why Go to a Meditation Retreat at Deer Park?

As New Year’s Eve approached, I found I was wanting a quieter celebration.  I had been trying to work on a consistent meditation practice, so when I discovered that there was a holiday meditation retreat at Deer Park Monastery, I got on the waiting list and, luckily, made it in!  I was excited to spend the new year’s transition peacefully in meditation and mindfulness.   

People come to Deer Park meditation retreats for a variety of reasons; generally to deepen their practice of mindfulness and to grow their sense of spiritual community.  Some are long-time practitioners, and others, like me, are relative newbies who come to learn more about the practice.  

Background on Deer Park

Deer Park is one of several monasteries around the world founded by the Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh (1926-2022) as part of the International Plum Village Community of Engaged Buddhism.  Thich Nhat Hanh was also a peace activist, attracting many socially engaged followers, and the community is still very conscious of social justice and environmental issues.  It’s super inclusive and broadly welcoming.  

Another thing I love about the Plum Village tradition (and this may apply to other traditions as well), is that you don’t need to identify as Buddhist in order to participate.  They’re perfectly happy if you identify with another religion or none at all…it doesn’t matter, they just want you to be able to benefit from practicing mindfulness. You don’t have to ‘believe’ anything, it’s really all about the practice.

Deer Park Monastery Locale

Deer Park is located in north San Diego County and serves as a meditation retreat and spiritual center for Southern California and beyond. Far beyond – people come from all over the US and internationally.  

It’s tucked in the hills of northern Escondido, with extensive hiking on the property and even more in the adjacent Daley Ranch, a 3,000-acre nature preserve.  There are native oak trees along the stream, and most of the rest of the area is coastal sage scrub and chaparral-covered hills.  

My new friend Sandra from Florida laughingly noted while puffing a bit as she hiked up to the dining hall, “It’s definitely not flat!”  (Unlike Florida!)

Southern California weather is usually warm and sunny with blue skies…unless you’re on my retreat during a highly unusual 5-day long storm event. Hello, atmospheric rivers and bomb cyclones! Hence, the cloudy skies you see in the photos. The warmth and sunshine came from the smiles.

Who Goes to a Meditation Retreat at Deer Park?

People come from all over!  I met people from all over the US – Minnesota, Colorado, New Hampshire, Florida, and Texas, to name a few.  My group leader was from Homer, Alaska, and has come for the last 22 years.  I also met people from Brazil, Vietnam, Belgium, Ireland, and Mexico, and I’m sure I didn’t meet all of the international folks.  I met so many great people and made some awesome (and mindful) new friends.

Mindfulness and Meditation Activities

So what do you do on a mediation retreat at Deer Park?  There are several core mindfulness activities:  

Morning Meditation

Hello, can we say 6 am, people?  Time to meditate!  This is a sitting meditation in the Ocean of Peace Meditation Hall, sometimes guided, sometimes not.  Sometimes awake, sometimes not. Seriously, though, it’s a beautiful way to start the day and totally worth pulling yourself out of the sleeping bag. If you’re jet-lagged or just have a rough time in the early hours, don’t worry, it’s not mandatory and there are lots of other mindfulness activities on offer!

Service Meditation

Ever thought of chores as an opportunity for mindfulness? Working meditation is done with your dharma family and is something you sign up for at registration.  My group’s service was pot washing.  Other groups had veggie chopping, bathroom cleaning, and hall setup…I think there were a few other chore options, too.  Joy is encouraged.

Walking Meditation

You might have caught on by now that the Plum Village tradition does not consider meditation to be something you only do when sitting down with your eyes closed.  For walking meditation, we walk slowly and silently as a group, following the monastic leader.  Some of our instructions were to breathe along with our steps and to perhaps think “here” with each in-breath and “arrived” with each out-breath.  We were encouraged to “flow like a river” and it really feels like that to me.  

Dharma Talks

Dharma talks are formal talks presented by a monastic.  We had three amazing Dharma talks by Sister D (Dang Nghiem), Brother Phap Dung, and Brother Phap Luu.  Even my group leader, who has been coming to Deer Park for 22 years, said this was an exceptional year for Dharma talks.  I laughed – I cried – I was inspired.

Eating Meditation

Surprisingly to me, eating meditation was one of my favorites.  Each meal is begun in silence for about 20 minutes and you are encouraged to chew mindfully, taste fully, and think about all of the people involved in getting this food to you.  A great practice in gratitude and mindfulness.

Deep Relaxation (AKA Nap Time)

Ok, napping is not specifically a part of the deep relaxation, but judging by the resonant snores echoing through the hall, it’s fairly widely practiced.  A particularly sonorous “call and response” had me fighting hard not to crack up, but I was able to be more mindful in a later session when the brother who led it suggested that we be glad for those who are snoring, because they are able to sleep so deeply.   

Dharma Sharing

The other activity we do with our family groups is dharma sharing.  This is a beautiful and deep exercise where everyone is invited to share how their practice is going, any observations or insights from the teachings, or something they may be struggling with or grateful for.  I found it to be a very connecting experience.

Noble Silence

Every night after the nighttime activity and lasting through breakfast, we practiced Noble Silence.  This means you are…silent.  No talking.  

The noble part arises in the space that is opened up when the chitchat is eliminated and you can just be.  For me, it allowed the meaning to seep in.  

It also made it a lot easier to be tent camping in very close proximity to 40 other women – the only sounds I heard at night and in the morning were tent zippers.  And quiet.

Other Good Stuff

In addition to dharma talks, there were also some special presentations, trainings, and fun activities.

Our training covered the Begining Anew practice, instruction in Touching the Earth (aka prostrating yourself, like Child’s Pose in yoga), and an explanation of the Five Mindfulness Trainings.  There was also the transmission ceremony, in which participants accepted the Five Mindfulness Trainings as part of their practice.

One day we went for a group hike up the mountain and enjoyed the vista from a big sloping rock while munching on our bag lunches. I had a lovely chat and shared some tea with one of the monks, Brother Phap Luu, after discovering that we went to the same college (on the other side of the country) at the same time and knew several people in common. Small world!

Gongs and Songs

Gongs. Bells. Buddhists call them bells.  You will hear a lot of them.  They may sound like a small metallic chime or a loud, resonant gong.  They will signal something is happening, perhaps waking up, standing up, bowing toward the front of the room, bowing toward the altar, or the end of silence at a meal. No matter the signal, they are considered an opportunity to stop and be mindful, so you will see that people generally stop walking and talking until the sounding of the bell is over.  

Did I mention the singing?  There’s lots of singing!  The monastics will lead group songs to pass time before an activity starts, there are beautiful songs sung by the monastics during ceremonies, and you’re even sung to during deep relaxation.  

New Year’s Ceremony

From my experience thus far, it seems like “ceremony” is the Buddhist code word for a lot of chanting, singing, bowing, and touching the earth.  This, along with some beautiful readings affirming our intention for Right Action, is what we did for New Year’s.

We also had a lovely procession with candles where we tossed our New Year’s resolutions in a ceremonial fire.

A friend of mine who couldn’t attend the retreat watched the live streams of the Dharma talks and the New Year’s ceremony on YouTube.  She texted her reaction the next day:  “Watched the ball drop in NY, felt empty. Tuned in to the New Year prayer just in time to watch it live. Beautiful ceremony. Felt good.”

The Be-In

On our last night we had a be-in, where the dharma family groups and the monastics gave fun performances, mostly skits, songs, and dances.  

The monastics’ skit stole the show with their adaptation of the movie The Matrix to Buddhist themes.  Can Dharma be funny?  “Whoa.” (Skit joke.)

An incredibly moving performance came from the Rainbow Family (LGBTQIA+), who started singing “The Circle” (by the awesome Joe Reilly) and invited people to come up and join them.  Soon every single person in the hall was holding hands in a giant circle and singing:

There’s a place for you in the circle
The circle can expand
Come and join the circle
All people hand in hand

There is love for you in the circle
A love you can understand
Come and join the circle
All people hand in hand

There is peace in the circle
Non-violence is our plan
Come and join the circle
All people hand in hand

There is strength in the circle
As together we all stand
Come and join the circle
All people hand in hand

There is healing in the circle
Healing on the land
Come and join the circle
All people hand in hand

There’s a place for you in the circle
The circle can expand
Come and join the circle
All people hand in hand

Joe Reilly

 

What did my Dharma group do?  We, the Compassion Family, wrote a song in honor of our working meditation assignment:  pot scrubbing.  It started when we were scrubbing pots and thinking, “There should be a dish-washing song”.  One inspired member came up with the tune and the first line, I filled in the next few lines, and the rest of the group finished off the verses.

With grateful credit to the composer of the world-renown tune, Row, Row, Row Your Boat, here it is:

You heard it here first, folks. 😉

How’s the Food?

The food is tasty.  It’s a great opportunity to try eating all vegan for an extended period if you haven’t before – just get ready to embrace tofu!  They do great things with it, plus there’s always rice and veggies, and they often have some creative little dishes.  Much of it is inspired by Vietnamese cooking, which for me makes it all the better.  Breakfast always has oatmeal with various toppings (raisins, nuts, etc.), Cheerios, and usually some bread with jams and nut butter.  One morning they had scrambled tofu.  Usually, in the kids’ line, there are some items that cater more to kiddos, like tater tots.  

Deer Park Meditation Retreat Facilities

Accommodations are simple, definitely not fancy.  You can either camp or stay in the dorms, which offer 3-person and 6-person options.  I believe each dorm room has an attached bathroom.  For campers, the campground has a big bathroom and shower-house facility.  Meals are all in the dining hall, with indoor and outdoor seating.  Everyone washes their own plate and utensils after the meal.  

What if You’re New?

If you’re new to the Plum Village Community, there are a couple of community norms that could potentially cause some confusion if you’ve never experienced them before. They are: not knowing when it’s time to be silent (why am I the only one talking?) and not knowing when to pause your actions for mindfulness (why is everyone suddenly like a statue?).

Generally, the first portion of each meal is conducted in silence, and the nighttime after the last activity and through breakfast are also silent (see the section on Noble Silence). People usually stop their actions (walking, eating) for a moment of mindfulness at the ringing of a bell, and that even includes the chiming of the clock in the dining hall! Don’t worry if you miss the cues at first, you’ll get the swing of things eventually, and if you’re confused about anything, just ask, everyone is really nice.

What I Got Out of the Meditation Retreat at Deer Park

It’s hard to articulate what I got out of the retreat, I think because it was deeper than just some meditation “tips and tricks”; it was experiences, feelings, and realizations. I’d been to the Days of Mindfulness before, but going on retreat definitely takes it to another level.

I loved getting a taste of communal living in our independent world. Interbeing.

I found that I was more mindful and less reactive.

As the retreat progressed, I felt a deep, collective acceptance of everyone.  Like we were able to shed some of our cultural and visual perceptions and just see everyone as valuable.  

I felt more confident in myself, not in an “I’ve done this or that and feel good about it” kind of way, just in a simple way of having ease and comfort with myself.  I hadn’t realized that I had been worrying about what other people were thinking until I was there and stopped doing it.  

When I was walking around, I noticed that I was able to smile and make eye contact with any person I was passing and get the same in return, with peaceful confidence and acknowledgment as we went on our way.  It was awesome.

Perhaps for a long time, I will be unpacking the benefits I brought home with me, the peacefulness that showered down upon me and infiltrated my being.

How to Sign Up for a Retreat at Deer Park

Retreats are listed on the Deer Park special retreats page and on the seasonal retreats page, which also gives typical prices.  They do their best to keep prices low, with the cost for the Holiday Retreat that I went on at $240 for tent camping for four days, including all meals. Dorms are a bit more.  Retreats can fill up really fast, so look out for the opening day to sign up.  I was on the waitlist and got lucky that they opened up more spaces.

Other Ways to Visit Deer Park

Besides retreats, Deer Park also offers Days of Mindfulness on most Sundays, as well as some special events.  You can find a full listing on their Calendar page, and the listing for each event will include a way to register online.  Many events are free, with donations welcomed. 

Additionally, most dharma talks are live broadcast on their YouTube channel, which also offers a wealth of past talks by Thich Nhat Hanh and the many talented monastics.  So you can benefit even if you’re far away!

You can also check out meditation retreats at the other monasteries around the world that practice in the Plum Village tradition.  Links to all of their web pages are at the bottom of each page on the Deer Park website.

If you’re lucky enough to go, I wish you a wonderful visit!

Peace is every step